Last weekend was so good. It started out that on Friday I decided I really needed to buy some jean shorts for this summer. Dan and I had previously agreed that we would put a temporary hold on any and all clothing purchases since we’ve both got our sights set on a lighter life! But I needed some shorts to hold me over until I get down to my goal weight. So off to Old Navy I went. Where instead of buying size 16 shorts, I bought a 12. And after wearing them a bit, even those are a little loose.
I also bought some size medium shirts instead of large. I went home and tried everything on (again) just to look at myself in my own mirror in my own bedroom… you know… in case those manipulative, dressing room mirrors had been lying.
As I put everything on, and then pulled more of my old “too-small-but-too-good-to-get-rid-of” clothes from my closet to try on… I got super emotional.
Read as: I cried. (Big surprise there. Just call me The Faucet.)
I cried because I feel more alive and more incredible than I have in a very, very long time. I consistently feel great in my clothes. I stand and sit up straight with confidence because I’m not trying to curl up and make myself feel/look small.
I feel so good.
And not in a superficial way because I’m a smaller size. I feel good because I’m putting good things into my body. I feel good because I’m choosing to take care of myself. I feel good because my body is healthier and lighter and not constantly begging for sugar and carbs. Dreams really do come true.
I hear from almost every client I talk to that they just want to feel better. They feel slow and tired and have a low self-confidence. They don’t even care as much about the scale as they do about their desire to simply feel good.
And when I hear that I want to jump up and dance and scream, “Yes! We all want to feel good!”
Because it is what we were made for. We were made to be fully alive: mind, soul, AND body.
Which is exactly why the girl who just wrote a book about beauty is also the same girl who is on a journey to better health and is losing weight. In case you missed that subtlety, that girl is me.
Can I be real with you for a second… or however many minutes it takes you to read the rest of this blog?
I don’t want anyone to think that writing a book about true beauty, and simultaneously working to lose weight and be healthier are a contradiction. This is what I was trying to get at when I wrote this blog — I was saying that coming to deeply know and understand my true worth and beauty was the first step I had to take that allowed me to value myself enough to spend my time and energy on my health.
I could look in the mirror and know deep down that I am beautiful and I am a beloved daughter of God and I am so precious and God has a plan and a purpose for my life… but I still couldn’t run up the stairs to my 2nd floor apartment without getting totally winded and wanting to collapse on the couch.
I know now what true beauty is and that is has nothing to do with the scale! And in detaching those two things — my beauty and my weight — I gained the freedom to look at my weight objectively and say, “I know I need to be healthier.” I could look at that number and instead of getting depressed because it was my gauge for my beauty, I could see it for what it was: just a result of a lot a little (unhealthy) choices I had been making every day for a very long time. My soul can rest in the truth of my beauty… but my body still felt crappy.
I wanted to feel good. So it was time to look squarely at that number on the scale and say “not this. I can feel better than this in my body.”
And I am! And what fun it has been. On Saturday morning, after getting up to go out for coffee with Dan at 6:30am, then having a phone meeting with a client, I cleaned out my drawers and my closet of all the clothes that didn’t fit me anymore — 3 bags full, that I donated to Goodwill that morning. “I’m never going back to that size” I thought as I handed them off to the staff.
I feel too good. It’s a healthier, lighter, more confident, more energized, more passionate kind of “good.” It’s what I know I was made for. This is the life I want to continue to choose for the rest of my days.
All because I knew as a beautiful daughter of God, He loves me too much to let me settle. He wants me to be able to live and love and feel fully alive. And it all started with a desire to feel good.
Just like you. I know you want that too… to feel good. Just like all the people I’ve talked to on the phone recently. Everyone wants to feel good, to be healthier.
You want to have the energy to get up out of bed with excitement for the day ahead. To run up stairs while carrying groceries and not feel like you’re on the cusp of passing out. You want to see the scale go down every week and feel lighter as you move. You want to not be scared to take photos with your friends. You want to feel good. I get it. Don’t hesitate to contact me if you want me to coach you toward that goal. It is possible.
From the girl who cried wearing her size 12 shorts… it is possible.
(Me, and my sisters, having a blast because for once in a long time I wasn’t hesitant and afraid to take photos.)
You Are Enough
Don’t ever forget that okay? You are beautiful and precious and deserve good things — and I can’t tell you that enough! Look I even dedicated a side-bar-box-thing to it. God has a plan and a purpose for your life and He died and rose again because He wants to spend forever with you! Okay, read on. Important reminder over.
Join the Tribe
Get a monthly email with my favorite blog posts, updates, and fun little things from me!
“The glory of God is man fully alive.” St. Irenaeus
Here’s the good, the bad, the raw of my weight loss journey. I share this in hopes that if you see any similarities in your journey, it helps you to not feel alone. I want you to know that if I can do it, so can you. If I can get through these things… so can you.
I can blast off this list because it’s literally been the same for (about) two years now!! The thing about losing weight is that if you do it right and with the right mindset, two things happen…
These are the 4 basic principles I’ve found myself eating by during this pregnancy. I’m so glad that in the year and half prior to this, I’ve solidified the desire and love of healthy habits – which made these things come naturally to me.