I keep telling myself this phrase: “God has good things in store for me.”
But I woke up today and literally the first thing I thought about is that phrase. I thought, everyone keeps saying that. I keep saying that to myself.
And in the context of my life right now, I feel like “good things” is defined as “a child.” After our two miscarriages I, as well as others, keep talking about these “good things” to come. But it feels like we’re all referring to future children. It’s not said outright but implied… “God has a family on earth in store for you, besides your children in heaven.”
And that’s nice, I appreciate that sentiment. I swear to you, I’m the one who has been saying it the most!
But I woke up with the heavy realization that it’s the wrong perspective. Or the wrong wording. Or something. (I’m painfully literal.)
You see… God has good things right now. Now is good.
We hear St. Paul say in the bible, “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28).
In all things. Right now. There’s such goodness right now. Not only down the road. Not only when a baby makes it into my arms. But now.
You know that old Bible story of Job whose life got wrecked in every way? He said, “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.”
Blessed right now. Goodness right now. In the middle of what looks like the worst of it. Nothing is so far gone or so broken that it can’t be redeemed by our good, good Father… So bless His name in the midst of it and as you praise Him, look for the goodness. It is right now in my suffering that I am closest to His heart (Psalm 34:18). His Kingdom is here and now, just like He said over and over in the gospels (Luke 17:21).
He is present and redeeming everything. It’s all in my perspective.
If I define the “good things” He has for me only as “children in my arms” then I’m missing out on so much more. If you only define “good things” as “having a husband or wife” or “finally being debt free” or “graduating school” then you’re missing out too.
Don’t get me wrong it is really, really difficult to learn the discipline of finding God and His goodness in the here and now, especially if you’re in the midst of suffering. But that practice is called maturity. It’s called virtue. It isn’t easy to learn but if you want to be happy in this life I believe it is a requirement.
I’ll go first. Right now…. by having a miscarriage my heart is more empathetic and united to others who are suffering, and that is good. I have experienced all these beautiful connections and moments of community with other moms who are suffering in this way, and that depth of connection is good. Our hearts need that. My husband and I are learning to cling more to each other and to God, it is deepening both of those relationships; that is good. In the space I have now in my life in the absence of a pregnancy, God has called me to love and serve another family as their nanny; that is good.
And down the road, both tomorrow and in a few years… there will be more good things. To say God only has good in store for us in the future is a lie about who He is. We have a God who is all love and that kind of God won’t let you suffer today without redeeming it in some way. The question is if you will notice it and be grateful for it.
So I say yes. Yes to good things now… good things later. Grace now… grace later… grace in everything.
You Are Enough
Don’t ever forget that okay? You are beautiful and precious and deserve good things — and I can’t tell you that enough! Look I even dedicated a side-bar-box-thing to it. God has a plan and a purpose for your life and He died and rose again because He wants to spend forever with you! Okay, read on. Important reminder over.
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“And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:14
I’m very grateful… I tell myself as lunch burns it’s way back up my esophagus and I pop another Tums. Hoping the daily limit on those is more of a gentle suggestion than a rule.
Since the place holds so much magic for us, I knew I wanted to take pregnancy announcement photos at Disneyland
Beauty reminds me that God is good. It reminds me that life isn’t only pain and death and frustrated hope but life is also joy and goodness and the purity of truth.