Major complaint ahead: apps, and websites, and blog moms, and the whole internet has left me supremely confused about which weeks are which trimesters. Like, isn’t this a very basic idea that should be agreed upon?? I’ve felt “very” stupid every turn of the trimester when I think/rejoice/declare/celebrate being in the next one only to keep reading conflicting data.
Don’t message me with your version of what you believe each trimester is because it doesn’t MATTER ANYMORE. I’m 29 weeks which is (either 1 or 2) weeks into the 3rd, so I’m firmly on the confidently 3rd-trimester-train.
So what’s it been like? Hell.
I cry during commercials and in church or when someone affirms me and every afternoon because I’m just so tired. So. Tired. It’s a both/and like everything else in life. It’s wonderful and beautiful and a huge blessing, but also really tough, and exhausting and draining and the hardest thing ever.
But mornings have been great for the most part! Same as 2nd trimester (weeks unknown). So I try to front-load my day and get my most pressing things done in the morning not knowing whether my afternoon will be a ball-of-tears-on-the-bed and 3-hour-nap, or a slow hours-on-the-couch-with-my-laptop kind of day.
Don’t be fooled about my productivity though. When I say my “most pressing things” I’m talking about nesting. Which is a very. real. thing. It could also be that I’m the kind of person who only feels comfortable if I’m over-prepared for something. Like taking a final in college meant I could recite my notes to you backwards in my sleep. So you better believe this child had diapers and butt cream ready when he was still a mere 10 inches long inside me.
But in all seriousness, I am ready for him to come because I am obsessed with the stats on viability. I don’t mean to take a sad turn (don’t be sad for me, I’m okay, really!!!) but after losing two babies to miscarriage I have been holding my breathe waiting for that marker called “viability” whereby if I were to go into labor or if something scary happened and they did an emergency c-section… I would still have a really, really good chance that this baby would end up in my arms. That gives me so much comfort. Babies born at 29-30 weeks have a 90% chance of survival!!!! So you better believe I have a carseat and bassinet and diapers and swaddles.
It doesn’t help that every single day Dan says something to the effect of, “I just want him to come out” or “Can he come out now?” So that doesn’t help the nesting thing either.
Recently I’ve been thinking about (packing. I mean packing.) my hospital bag. I like to think I’m a cool “minimal” person who will just come in with her over-sized purse of the “necessities” but let’s be real… I have a list of snacks for Dan to grab on the way out and told him to only bring t-shirts without logos because I don’t want to look at photos of him wearing a giant Nike swish in all our hospital photos! He said NOW we were ready for labor and delivery. Now that he knows what to wear.
I’m not controlling. I’m not controlling.
So I’m not packing my own hospital room lighting and pillows and toilet paper, but certainly too many blankets and snacks and toiletries and lotions and sprays I’ve read could help recovery.
Lastly, with the 3rd-tri I’m still living/eating by the same nutrition principles I posted about here and I feel great about that! I’m also still wearing these same leggings pretty much every day (when they’re in the wash I feel like a toddler without their blankie).
Baby boy is approximately 15 inches head to toe now, and weighing between 2-3 pounds. He is the best little motivation to choose healthy meals and to exercise to keep both of us strong.
And as Dan keeps saying… we can’t wait to meet him.
(Some people have asked me about our baby registry and after much googling and self-doubt I finally managed to put one together – linked here. If you wanted to support us and help us get ready for this little guy, I just can’t even thank you enough. It means so much.)
You Are Enough
Don’t ever forget that okay? You are beautiful and precious and deserve good things — and I can’t tell you that enough! Look I even dedicated a side-bar-box-thing to it. God has a plan and a purpose for your life and He died and rose again because He wants to spend forever with you! Okay, read on. Important reminder over.
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“And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:14
I’m very grateful… I tell myself as lunch burns it’s way back up my esophagus and I pop another Tums. Hoping the daily limit on those is more of a gentle suggestion than a rule.
Since the place holds so much magic for us, I knew I wanted to take pregnancy announcement photos at Disneyland
To say God only has good in the future is a lie about who He is. We have a God who is all love and that kind of God won’t let you suffer today without redeeming it in some way. The question is if you will notice it and be grateful for it.