Sometimes God feels really far away. Like on those days when it feels like the world is falling apart and everything is a mess and oh it’s also a Sunday so you’re “supposed” to drag your butt to church but that is literally the last thing you want to do. Yeah, I get it.
I think my biggest mistake in my spirituality has been to think my holiness is up to me. This fault especially comes out around big liturgical times like Advent when I think the readiness of my heart depends on how many “things” I do, and how many devotions I can check off the list (and post on instagram), and having the right candles and journals and prayers.
We have to love ourselves because if we don’t, then 1) how will we know how to love another human, and 2) from where will we get the energy and fullness of life that we need to love others?
But it is transformative. The love of the Lion of Judah is not safe because He will not let me stay where I am, He invites me to ever more.
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:20