So yeah, I’m not the perfect Christian. Not always the loving, well-behaved daughter of God. But He is big enough to handle my big, complicated emotions. He is understanding enough to listen to my angry ranting and raving.
It’s okay to stop suffering. There is no need to drag on your suffering when God is inviting you to step into the new person your suffering can enable you to become.
Today all we heard about was how because of the (big, bad, scary) world we live in, we’re all just falling deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper into sin.
I’m sorry if you thought I was the one eagerly skipping into Mass every day. I’m not. The truth is that some days I find it really difficult to go.
Sometimes God feels really far away. Like on those days when it feels like the world is falling apart and everything is a mess and oh it’s also a Sunday so you’re “supposed” to drag your butt to church but that is literally the last thing you want to do. Yeah, I get it.
I think my biggest mistake in my spirituality has been to think my holiness is up to me. This fault especially comes out around big liturgical times like Advent when I think the readiness of my heart depends on how many “things” I do, and how many devotions I can check off the list (and post on instagram), and having the right candles and journals and prayers.
Elijah encountered God in the tiny, whispering wind… but that’s not the only way we can encounter God. He is present in so many more ways, including in our neighbor.
We could find plenty of reasons to each sit in our own corners of pity and sorrow. And yet…. We have within us an indescribable joy.
This weekend has slipped by much too quickly. Dan and I both had a lot of work to do, and errands to run. It’s funny how we can be “around” each other all weekend and still I feel like I haven’t really “seen” him, or spent time with him.
I was like a child pounding on her Father’s chest in anger and sadness, crying out, “why can’t you fix it?!” in regards to my life. I would look around at other people whose lives were overflowing… who appear to “have it all”… and I would feel jealousy… even a little rage… because if I looked down at my own hands they seemed so empty.